The Book

"You should write a book!" I have heard that so many times over the past few years. Honestly, the book has been in me for many more years than that. The book is my life message. It is what I was meant to communicate. It has been years in the making... years in the writing... and now, as of yesterday, the book proposal (not the completed manuscript!) is in the hands of two publishers, two literary agents and two first-time publishers networks. Oddly, I have mixed feelings about it today. I feel exposed (even though no-one has actually read it yet!). I feel inadequate to fully communicate this amazing life message (I keep thinking of things to add... as I edit and re-work this month... the book could double in size!). I feel like I am getting ready to cross a line that I have been moving toward since the time of my suicide attempt and the beginning of my recovery. I also have a bit of fear. Lately, the more I step up and share my story, the more criticism and rejection come my way. I will need strength for the professional feedback that I get from the agents and publishers. I am not a professional writer so I expect this feedback, I just don't want the message to get lost in all!
As I sit with these feelings, the song that keeps playing in my head is Philips, Craig and Dean singing "Your Grace Still Amazes Me". It is overwhelming to think that out of all of my mess, wounds, poor choices, manipulations, hurts, that the Father has brought out this powerful message of LIFE! As the song says... all I can do is offer Him my praise.
So... praise the Lord with me and pray that His will be done. At the end of January, I will have the book finished and will decide about self-publishing (based on the responses or lack thereof).
Happy New Year to all of you!